Tuesday, August 23, 2005

FIRMWIDE MEMO: Building Security, Cocoas Need a Man!

I think I missed the Firmwide memo stating that black women professionals are desperately seeking a man. Particularly, the uniformed kind in my office's lobby with small flashlights in their hands. I bet you the memo explained why “Psst…psssst” is the first and last noise that I hear everyday. Matter of fact, I betcha the higher ups even included a little research to prove that these men’s antics are harmless and really okay.

I think I missed the memo, but maybe you heard. Did it teach the roots of building security’s most-fave snake-like sound, slur or “word?”

Surely this memo psycho-analyzed the professional world’s boys in blue. Or course, all in an attempt to ease the embarrassment of Keisha, me, and you. Among this research, I bet the best, is how the Firm explains the actions of the newly-hired, harasser in the bright orange vest. But my fellow Cocoas, please do not react with disarray. My usage of “bright” and “vest” would never mean "smart" and/or "401K." For this little silly boy convinces his mind, his greetings of “Ma” or “Sweetheart,” to my ears, ring music divine. And, lest not forget: “Yo, hon, I got what you need,” in a lobby full of my firm clients, investment bankers and cream-colored colleagues.

Yeah, I am sure the letter tried to make sense, of these “officers’” über confidence, which, by the way, is void of logic and lacks all pretense.

Like with all other issues within today’s sight, I wonder if the memo discussed said phenomenon in black and white. But, honestly, I cannot say, I remember my blonde colleagues expressing dismay, at the words of the vesters in the lobby each day. Ask me if they bother them, too, and I’ll tell you “no way!” For dudes definitely know what not to say, when it comes to the office’s most-coveted cups of café au lait.

But maybe that's because society would never paint my blonde babes, "beauty” charity cases, less feminine, or J-Lo downgrades.

But, you know, as much as building management tries, it is run by a bunch of Rick, Todd and Clive’s. No, I am not referring to “whites,” but rather to “men,” who cannot seem to acquire proper gender acumen.

So sad for security, as I'm sure the big guys failed to explore, what the little guys in the lobby really must endure. For, unlike police officers, who get to carry powerful guns, or like "New York's Bravest," who climb tall ladders and have big hoses to run, building security doesn't have a manly toy to show off, not one. So, I guess wearing a girly-colored vest is way too emasculating and not much fun.

So, perhaps we should have some sympathy on these sons, because, apparently ladies, the fellas' career embarrassment has only just begun.

R.

5 comments:

caribbeanqueen said...

That is so true, but you need to broaden your scope. Try every messenger, garbage man, doorman, cab driver, window washer... You get the flow, as long as its a brother throw the concept of a normal greeting out with the dishwater. The classic, "my sister" never fails to elicit a response from me. Word to your mother, I aint your sister! Then of course they act all pissy when you step out with a white man. "Don't forget the brothas." Well speak to me like a person and then we'll talk. Last time I checked the only thing that comes to a whistle was a bitch.

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