I am near tears, literally, and cannot believe that I tried to go there. I guess my overly-lofty sense of endless ability and competence had to come crashing down at some point. In a nuthshell, I worked until the wee hours of the morning mixing, mashing and dashing what was supposed to come out as the Waldorf-Astoria's red velvet cake. It was my personal way of saying thank you to the traders who pitched in for my nice cash bonus. Yet, instead of some fluffy cake, I more so ended up with the likes of red velvet brownies! Worst off, people at work are giving me that sad, "it tastes [hard, dry, nearly painful, gulp] good."
I want to knock it over onto the floor, but I am almost certain that God will strike me down if I do, as it would be such a waste of food. I have to find a way to get rid of it though... I feel like it's threatening my good, cool reputation in the office. Good thing is many of these East Coasters have never tried RV, so they might taste it and erroneously think they don't like Red Velvet, cuz it's nasty, versus, they don't like my cake, cuz it's nasty... Oh brother.
I've also contemplated removing pieces myself, until I can finally exclaim "it's all gone!!!" Oh Lord, it keeps getting worst...In my moment of super low culinary confidence, I wrote my boss and complained that the cake is terrible. She replied: "I thought it was delish!! Great job!!!"
I might as well open the window now and prepare for the quick descent. Why couldn't I just have made something else, something more simple and familiar. I always gotta get K. West with sh!t and overdue things. Cookies from the roll or Krispy Kremes would have been just fine. But, no, I had to get brand new.