Friday, January 06, 2006

C-A-S-U-A-L F-R-I-D-A-Y-S: Al deserves an Oscar; Narnia hits the streets

Again, while the angle of my blog IS working while black, female and professional, I do allow myself to journal (read rant) about anything under the sun on Friday's. Honestly, I do not want to snap, a la Postal, thereby, crediting Corporate America with the advent of our nation's first black woman serial killer. So, for me, venting is very necessary...

Forget Terrence, Give that Brotha an Oscar...
Star Jones' husband, Al, is not only a blind or gay (c'mon, he has to be one or the other), but he's also apparently a really, really, really, really great actor. When asked by PEOPLE magazine to share his feelings about his wife's *cough* lovely new figure, the forever shining other half (ok, really like 1/4) of the D-level celebucouple S.T.A.L.E. (Star & Al, with an accented "e" for obligatory gay effect) commented,
"I think maybe a two-piece is coming out this summer!"
Truly an earth-shattering performance. I mean, really, how many men - straight, gay or perspiring from the kiss of a barrel against the temple - could feed a trained reporter such a boldface lie-of-enthusiasm without any hint of uncontrollable laughter, nausea or Prozac addiction? Niiiice!

The 'Chronic' of Narnia
Okay, so it may really not be the "chronic" that suddenly has caused young urban women to take hold and choke the damn life out of the (utterly ridiculous) white "fur" trend. No, perhaps these (mis)fashion mavens started clocking the look of Jadis, the bad-a$$ ice princess of Narnia, because girly rocks a chinchilla, dreads and one fierce "I'll whoop the f&@k out of ANY trick" look. BTW, no, her name is NOT short for another fallen soul, who's antics happen to be just as detrimental to the future of our nation's youth.

I honestly do not know what to do about this new fashion disease of pandemic proportions. Stroll the sidewalks of New York, the streetz of Boise and the malls of Moneyapolis (and St. Paid) and you will find thousands of coats, boots and handbags decadently sporting the wannabe hip-hopper, Paris Ho-ltons white "fur" thing, with the most-offensive displays being of the SantaBear, cotton swab, or "100% Polyester" -fill variety.

May God bless America, I say, God bless America!

R.

7 comments:

Genesis said...

ewww a two piece? i dont think so. i saw pictures of her putting lotion on his back...and she had on a one piece...that was bad enough. hale to the nah

Cocoa Girl said...

LOL! I saw that one, too! Ooh daddy...make it stop!

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

is it me or does star jones look like her face has gotten bigger by 10x...or her face was always that big....she don't look that good to me...i think if she would have toned her muscles it might have been more of a smoother transition...i hate to see her naked....(ummph, i gotta go...i think my soup is coming up)...
keep posting...

Anonymous said...

Is it summer already? Look again, if you dare, in the same group of pics you saw orbitng around cyberspace of the 1-piece is a shot of the STAR in a bikini. Perhaps it's summer in whateva part of the world they were vacationing in at the time.

Supa said...

lmao@ S.T.A.L.E.!!!
And I saw the swimsuit pics with GayAl, Staruh, and their chunky friend...so sad.

Why did you mention Narnia? I'm getting anxiety again...

Cocoa Girl said...

You're crazy, girl!

Single Ma said...

LMBAO @ S.T.A.L.E.

And xtra props on the "accented 'e' for obligatory gay effect"

I am too through!