Monday, March 27, 2006

Coworkers say the darndest things!

The following conversation took place last Friday afternoon and involved Cocoa Girl and one of her "Asian" colleagues:

AC: (plopping onto Cocoa’s desk from nowhere): Oh, Cocoa…how is your book coming along? And, oh!, are you on your website…Colored Girl on the Job???

Cocoa (*blank stare* and three-second pause for added-hostile effect): Um, no. Why in the hell would I have a website called “colored” anything? You are from Texas, so you know that word is not a good thing… (now, anyone who knows Cocoa knows I’d probably cop ‘colored’ for my next site, but that's between us...)

AC: Oh, well, if I were being funny or silly, I would call myself something silly.

Well, you nosey beyotch, let Cocoa be the first to tell you that you are F*CKING silly!
A few pieces of key information with ya, just in case I'm seeming a bit harsh right now...

1. Never under any circumstances has Cocoa EVAH shared her on-the-side gig with a coworker.

2. Never under any circumstances has Cocoa EVAH told this chick that she has a blog site of about (of all things) WORKING WHILE BLACK!!!!!!!! For the love of God, I work in Corporate f*cking America at a bank that has presented more drama than a Knot’s Landing, Dynasty and The Colby’s marathons combined.

3. Never under any circumstances has Cocoa EVAH used the words n!g, negro, darkie, negras OR colored in the presence of a non-Cocoa colleague; therefore, where in the Sam hell did she find the sheyot??

Sooooooooo……the only way Little Miss Nosey A$$ knows about my book and blog is because she likes to creep up on my shyt like she's Leroy Green (betcha don't remember that one)!

Bloggers, brethren…be warned! Colleagues of bloggers, stop being so damn nosey...

CG./R.

34 comments:

Miss Ahmad said...

First!

Okay I am really gonna need you and my girl Quintessential are gonna have to hook up because ya'll are killing me with the work stories and second of all

damn damn damn! nosey co workers are the worse!

Harlem Songstress said...

Big Brother(and his cousins) are watching at all times...watch ya back.

That woman had some nerve...can't believe she said "colored"....gheesh!!

Harlem Songstress said...

BTW Cocoa..I was jsut talking about Leroy Green with a co-worker today...

"Bring ya feets-a to Leroy (?)Green's pizza!!!"

I know someone who owns a fitness floor with Taimax...he's currently touring with one of those Beacon Theatre plays called "Cheaters".

Cocoa Girl said...

Miss Ahmad - That girl is BEYOND nosey!

Songstress - I can't believe Taimak is working the chitterlings circutit!

Dayum, dayum, dayum!!

Harlem Songstress said...

Yea girl..i'm waiting for him to come back from touring with the play so I can stop by and "coincidentally" bump into him-lol

Mrs A. said...

@ harlem songstress-please do not desicrate my ex-husband's famous movie...its "just deliver your feets-a to DADDY' GREEN'S pizza:...LOL (j/k) but that is my future ex-husband, fo real!!! anyhoos, that was funny...i'm so glad im alone all day cuz i'd have to choke a beyatch!!!!

Nichelle said...

That is so funny! That's why I try to blog at home -- sometimes I'll publish later, but not too often. My screen is tilted just so to keep folks out my business!

That said, what if she googled you Cocoa? Or she definitely could have seen your screen up in passing.

Shelia said...

I hardly ever tell folks what I do because they will try to hold it against you...swear you're rolling in money like Donald when you're working to make ends meet just like them...you just happen to do something else you enjoy doing--writing.

Be careful with "nosy" coworkers...sounds like they have too much time on their hands.

Single Ma said...

First of all...LOL @ borderline banana, then LMBAO @ 3 second pause for added hostile effect. That shyt is freakin hilarious!!

How da hell did she find out about your blog? If she's THAT nosey, she prolly went home and googled you too. Aww shyt! She prolly reading you right now!!

Aight, everybody be still and don't say a word...

T. Cas said...

I worry about this, b/c a couple of people at work have seen my blog. I've told them not to read it at work, but see the company name when I check my site meter. How she gonna even use that word "colored"? "Colored" played out with conked hair and sit ins.

Single Ma said...

use it...

"BB: Oh, well, if I were being funny or silly, I would call myself something silly."

...and think it was funny.

WTF is silly about "COLORED" girl on the job?

I hope she's reading this now...nosey AZZ HEFFA!!

African girl, American world said...

well I know your gubment name ain't nowhere on this blog so yeah she doing some sneaking....damn!

I think your 2nd book should really be about adventures of a cocoa girl on the job.

Cocoa Girl said...

Songstress & Miss A - Ya'll are TOO crazy with that Leroy Green stuff. Isn't he *happy*???

I'm jus saying...

Nichelle - Nah she hasn't Googled me - her azz reads my screen when she walks by!!!

Sheila - Welcome! I work on a trading floor, so I have NO idea how this girl has time to be up in my biz like so. Everyone is surrounded by at least 5 computer screens each.

SingleMa - My hostile look is signature and a legend all by itself. I don't get nasty with words. I just do the deadpan and they get catch the drift.

T.Cas - Nobody (or so I thought, nobody) pays attention to my little colored a$$. So, I type away, of course switching screens when I see boss lady a coming.

Mwabi - No doubt and no doubt again.

Overall, I'm a bit lucky that chickee is a little too much into herself to remember the name of my blog. I just gotta keep the title hidden when on the page from here on out.

BTW, she learned of the book by sneaking up on me and reading over my shoulder. I was about to print the title page for my proposal and she was standing RIGHT THERE! Oy vey!

BTW2, I gotta get rid of that Banana reference, or else I might get stepped to on the job.

Kenny said...

Are you an investment banker?

P said...

Girl. . .

Imma tell you.

You can't tell COWORKERS NOTHING!

Anytime you think you are saying something off the cuff, they end up saying something wrong or to someone and it ends up snowballing into some mess.

What is it about the nature of a co-worker that has you this close to whooping their ass!

Girl, why at my last job (I wear a wrap), did the girl at the front desk ask me "So, when are you going to wear the curly, nappy look?"

Why, girl. . .

Cocoa Girl said...

"So, when are you going to wear the curly, nappy look?"...

Oh. my. goodness. Why??? WHY?????

Hi Kenny!

nikki said...

she gets a smackdown just for that.

:her soledad: said...

and you KNOW that's how they do!

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If you can't join 'em, just check over that shoulder. Nosey Wiiitch!

Cocoa Girl said...

Hahaha @ Nikki!

Soledad - exactly. First time she caught me, I was sure to mention that I noticed she had been planning her ENTIRE wedding from the Desk, all day long.

She got that hint;-)

Harlem SoOngstress said...

Cocoa...yes i do believe word on the street is that think Taimak is battin gon the same team..if u know what I mean. But when/if I meet he I will be able to make my own self-assesment and report back.

And you need to get one of those "keep-nosey-people-out-my business" screens to put over your computer that blurs the hell out of your screen if you aint looking at it 1 foot directly in front...watch people go by then and say-"Oh damn--i thought my eyes were bugging cause I couldn't read the screen!" Then you'll really find out who the nosey so-and-so's are-LOL

Cocoa Girl said...

Um, I DO HAVE ONE OF THOSE SCREENS. That just goes to show how sneaky her azz is!

Supa said...

I LOVE the three second rule, after somebody says some dumb shit. I might stretch it out to 7 seconds just so the offender in questions gets THE MUTHA FUCKIN POINT!!!

You already know about my co-workers. Nosey, idiotic, triflin', whorish. But I love 'em though. lol

Hey Colored, I mean, Cocoa Girl!!!

Georgiapeach said...

I never say anything about my job just for that same reason.. you never know how nosey people truly are.

Knockout Zed said...

You colored people are so touchy!

KZ

Cocoa Girl said...

Supa - I love the three-second pause, too, but it has been known to get my behind in trouble. They always seem to realize that I'm an angry black chick at that point.

GPeach - I hear ya - makes damn sense.

Zed - Whatever man! Whatever!

Kenny said...

Hahaha, cracking up @ the keep-nosey-people-out-my-business screen reference.

solitaire said...

Committed a cardinal sin, girl...NEVER BLOG FROM WORK! What, you trying to get fired, sis? We need you on the job, girl...and you need that paper! TRUST MEH, girl, don't do it again!!! You got internetz at home, right? Shoot the shizzy from there!

Anyway, next. They use "coloured" up here in Canada sometimes...and I either kick them in the box or shoot them a hard stare. NERVE!!

Anonymous said...

watch ya back, sistah. Them folk are straight up "Assimilation Toms" who will drop a dime on you for street cred with Massa!

Anonymous said...

I love it Cocoa!!!! I'm working in an environment that is slowly changing for the worst! at one point the office was mangaged by a very efficient carmel woman. and the office consisted of two other brown women and myself and ran like a well tuned machine... As long as our carmel boss was here.
Well, Carmel Lady, got a new gig and rolled out!(so did one of the other ladies) Leaving myself and one remaining brown woman. Now the brown lady is doing her THANG! And that seems to be everything EXCEPT work! Our new boss is a, "non cocoa" member and has no idea what's going right now. i wouldn't dare go to him and snitch but dayum! Why WE gotta act like that?

Anonymous said...

Yea i do LOVE the 3 second rule, but I THINK I may adopt the 7 second rule b/c its says EXACTLY what i want to say 100% if the time when i'm talking to those who lack skin pigmentation.

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