Thursday, March 09, 2006

Thursday, per usual...

Cocoa's morning started off pretty much the same way as it usually does, with the exception of my jolt to the cleaners before work because I'se stale out of pants (get it?).

So...after waking at 5a, COMPLETELY against my will (it was the feline's fault...more on her later), I jumped out of bed at 6:42a and started the morning's mad dash...

A bit of basic arithmetic says that if I had to board the #2 at 730a, then a girly had a mere 48 minutes until takeoff. Yet, a bit of reality says that I spent at least 15 of said minutes (nearly 1/3 of my time) tending to an unthankful and hifalutin Miss Alexa L.V. (Lenox-Verd, not Louis Vuitton, people!). For the confused of you, Miss Alexa L.V. is my slave-mammy of a kitten.
She is always unthankful; turns on me in the blink of an eye; only wants to see me when I'm presenting her with a meal, and always has me fearful of a serious LASHING should I EVAH! piss her off. Our relationship spans only two weeks and yet I feel as though I've been Kizzying her behind for centuries. So, per usual, I cleaned her Playkitty-mansion of sorts litter box; poured fresh litter; swept her area in the living room (b/c Lord knows I didn't have time enough to sweep the ENTIRE apartment); gave her some fresh food; unearthed her toys and presented them for her tri-daily once-over at...that is, until I leave the room, after which time she will actually play with them.

Time: 657a.

With a 33 minutes until zero, I hopped in the shower; put on some lotion; "combed" my hair and zipped over to the cleaners at about 712a. As I'm dressing, the cat that usually goes out of her way to ignore me HAS THE NERVE! to kick her little ball with a bell down the long hallway toward me.

An indignant I does nothing. "Put the other leg in the slack..."

This time she noses the ball a bit further down the hall, closer to me.

A stank ho I does nothing. "Hmph, heifer wants to play now...after hissing me for the past 15 days...where's my damn socks??"

She makes another move with the ball and this time lays down to just stare at me.

Being the old softy that I am, I decided that if the cat was trying to play nice, that I could take a few tens of seconds to play nice, too. With that realization, I pulled on my socks and happily, yet quietly tipped-toed toward her area...

"hiiiissssssssss!!" And, with that, she was gone.

Flippin, F$CKING, fargan A! I am so tired of this sh!t! I rescued this chick off the streets and all I get are flippin' hisses EVERY TIME I try to approach her. Ya'll better call PETA, the humane society, Kitty Kind or who the f%ck every, now! I am this close to putting her ass back on the street. Do you know that she woke me up this morning because she was playing with those flippin' balls with the little bells inside?!?!?!? Yes, I did buy them for her, but I regret it to no end, because my ready-for-work-the-night-before routine now consists of searching for four of these balls and nearly suffering an anxiety attack because I can only find 2 out of four. YET, she knows where the flip the other two are located!!! She hides them from me b/c she knows that I'm taking them for the night! And, I should be able to do so: It's MY damn apartment and I don't want to wake up three times each night to repossess her loud ASS toys!

Okay, I need some caffeine. Be back in a little bit...

CG./R.

16 comments:

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

nothing wrong with GRITS - girls raised in the south from this memphis main, nice blog hit me up sometime if u can

Cocoa Girl said...

Thanks for stopping by...though I really don't know what you're saying...LOL

Memphis, huh? How'd you feel about the Hustle and Flow performance at the Oscar's?

Single Ma said...

I finally get to see Alexa…YAYYYYYY!!! Aww, she looks like a big ball of fur. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to watch your mornin’ routine. Sounds like she tryna pimp you (lol).

Precious stays outta my way in the mornin’. Her paws have been stepped on (by mistake) one too many times for her liking. If I even look like I’m about to approach her personal space, her ears perk up like “WTF you want!” She doesn’t even come out of the room until she hears her leash jingling. She goes outside, do her thing, then come back in and plop on the couch until her food is ready. After grubbin, she spread out like Queen B and watch VH-1 videos. If I try to turn the TV off when I leave, she’ll bark (lol).

But don’t give up on Miss Alexa (lol @ L.V.) yet. 2 weeks really isn’t that long. She was probably traumatized on the streets. It might take some time for her to get over it and warm up to a loving person.

Cocoa Girl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cocoa Girl said...

se sho iz trynin'! I'se trynin tah be ah gud slave, buh miz uhlexah sho' iz makin' id hard. Sho' iz.

:D

Your precious sounds like a real gem. And I so cannot get over the VH-1 thing...that's so cute!

Singing said...

Ok, are you visiting my home? LOL Cats are really a piece of work.

Good luck with Lady Alexa L.V.

Supa said...

Don't you be gettin' MAD at Queen Alexa! ha ha.

Too funny. Your harried mornings sound so familiar to moi. :) You MUST get up and give your kitty her quality time....

Yeah, cats are very aloof. They like you to give them food, play w/them on ocassion, and stay out their freakin' face. :) She'll warm up to you soon enough, and your mammy days will be done. :) LOL

Ya killin' me with the "hunt for the ball toys" at night!

Cocoa Girl said...

Yeah, I guess I need to be more patient with her! I just can't stand the hissing and stuff.

Am I really supposed to rise early to play with her?!?! Am I supposed to do this in the evening, too?

Lawd, I'm such a bad parent or slave or whatever way you look at it.

LOL

Cocoa Girl said...

BTW, Singing, I'm happy to know that someone can relate to my pain!!!

Supa said...

YES Cocoa, you oughta set aside a lil' Cocoa n Alexa time, either at morning or at night.... :)

damn, will she let you PET her???

llo

Cocoa Girl said...

Actually, no. I have to chase her down (first, close the bedroom door, which only leaves the bathroom for hiding options) and then move the sofa. Sometimes I even have to lift it off the floor. She darts down the hallway to toward the bedroom and sees she is trapped. So, she just darts into the bathroom.

After all of this, laced with a few hisses, then I get to trap her and pick her up and pet her.

Damn. How pathetic.

singing said...

LMAO @ slave. Cats are really strange creatures. You have to give her time to warm up to you. If she knows you love her, then she will be alright.

Personally, I wouldn't pay her a lick of attention because she will come to you when she wants some. I do that all the time when my Princess is showing out. Eventually she realizes that I am boss...well, I think she realizes that. LOL

Not a hipster said...

I agree with Singing, I think you should kinda ignore her. My cat, Keyser Soze, was found in my backyard in Tucson. He was only 3-4 weeks old, very beat up, and didn't trust anyone. That was hard, because I had to give him meds three times a day for a few weeks. No wonder he didn't want to come near me!

He was about 2 months old before he warmed up to me. I would just take his favorite toy, and set it on the floor or couch next to where I was sitting. If he wanted his toy, he had to come near me.

When he was brave enough to come near me, I would ignore him and let him take the toy. After about 10 minutes, I would do the same thing with a treat. He got used to coming near me, and eventually let me start petting and holding him.

Now he's seven years old and won't get out of my damn face when I just want to be alone, lol.

Cocoa Girl said...

LOL! Thanks for the advice. I need to leave to just leave her alone.

I am apparently such a dog person! LOL

Cocoa Girl said...

*learn* to leave her alone. BTW, I too have to "bother" her daily (have to wash her chin everyday since we've been together...for 2 weeks). So perhaps this bit isn't helping things, either.

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