Friday, April 07, 2006

The re-birth of the beyotch @ work

Sorry for being "out" yesterday, but Cocoa was actually on the job.

Word on the Street has it that the boss is preggers. The latter saddens all parties formerly-abused parties, because girly had put that screaming beyotch persona down for a nap…at least for a little bit. I’ve officially known the news for the past 65 hours and, yet, I still find myself trying to discount this bit of cubicle intelligence. Cocoa is just not ready (again) to report to an always-defensive, over-emotional, hella moody, and nearly schizophrenic in personality boss. Oh, and lest not forget about all that shyt that comes with the rumored pregnancy, too…

I have never worked for a pregnant person (yes, I know that men cannot birth kiddies, but I am trying to sound non-biased here); however, I also have never heard about a person being anything but unstable during said person’s first two trimesters, either. Mood swings supposedly become the norm, while attitude problems and outbursts are no longer rare events that get the office rumor mill to turning. Yup, when the preggers are turned lose on the workplace populace, all of this madness allegedly becomes a regular part of the grind.

I just hope that I can chill out and shut the f$ck up through all of her bad attitudes and mood swings. I’ve already changed the name of my site about five times, so I would hate to have to do it again. “Cocoa Girl off the Job”... “Cocoa Girl on the Job Hunt”… LOL!

Truth be told, I am probably anticipating that my modern-day slave mistress will abuse her underlings because of my own personal fantasies to stir up drama - sans recourse - for nine months. True, the dream is a little sick indeed, but I’ve always relished at the thought of knowing that I will one day get to crack the whip on my future husband (not to mention my office lackees) like he's a Mississippi slave; whine without reason; order others to do things for me as if I’m a work camp Gustapo, and eat whatever the hell I want – all guilt free – all because I’m preggers.

Let’s hope for the sake of my paycheck that my boss didn’t have these same sick dreams as child. After all, she is an O.C., too.

CG./R.

14 comments:

Harlem Songstress said...

CG..yo no se senorita!
I've never had the "misfortune" of reporting to someone who was pregnant. I did work with this one wench who was unbearable without having her hormones go awry so I couldn't even imagine what it would have been like if she was!

Cocoa Girl said...

I surmise that she would have been mo' wench.

dpm said...

Good luck! You'll be cool. Most of the unstable hatred and mood swings are pointed at and absorbed by the father.

Me said...

lol yall are too funny - cocoa you dont have kids right ?

girl pregnancy is hard ! just pray that rather than being bitchy she'll just be really emotional and cry and stay in her office most of the day LOL

good luck

Cocoa Girl said...

DPM - Sorry, bro, sorry...

Me - No, I don't have any kids. As far as my boss, she is actually pushing 40 and on kid/pregnancy #1! BTW, boss woman does not have her own office either. We work on a trading floor....:(

Harlem Songstress said...

Oh no--so if she has any outbursts you'll have witnesses!!!! That can be a curse and a blessing at the same time......

mrs.tj said...

Have a great weekend,
tj

P said...

I think it's going to go either way. . .

She is going to hoo-bang for the entire pregnancy,

OR

She will be so consumed with the pregnancy she will let y'all ride.

Miss Ahmad said...

ooh I work Next to a pregnant woman and she's damn evil and moody she's my new form of birth control! she's all over the map with hers and it's a trip because all of my friends have been beautiful and glowingly pregnant women, not coffee drinking hormonally imbalanced...

good luck!

Cocoa Girl said...

Mrs TJ - Thanks for stopping by...

P - Since she is also an only child, I am going to go with answers number 1 and 2.

Miss Ahmad - "she's damn evil and moody she's my new form of birth control!" LMAO...that is some serious stuff. Bad chilluns acting out in public is mine!

Single Ma said...

Oh lawd, I'ma pray for you sis (lol). I agree with P, it can go either way. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope she'll be more like #2.

Unsaid said...

I think she'll be cool. When I was pregnant I would get mad because people were assuming that I would be a bitch just because I was with child. It's just the same thing as when a woman's cycle is on and everyone blames all her emotions on that instead of treating anything she says as a valid point (though sometimes we do be trippin). I say if you keep your perception in tact everything will be A-OK with your boss.

Cocoa Girl said...

Thanks unsaid and welcome! So far, so good!

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