Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sisters who fight crime...


Cocoa is is dedicating today's post something truly, hands down, abso-f$cking-lutely amazing...

Woman's hair weave traps bullet as gunman opens fire (NY Daily News)
Gunfire erupted inside a Bronx nightclub early yesterday, leaving one patron dead and two others wounded - including a woman whose thick hair weave snared the bullet that pierced a door and grazed her scalp, police sources said.

Glenda Clarke, 26, was in the ladies' room at the Flamingo Lounge when the pistol-packing patron opened fire just before 6a.m., the sources said.

The slug scraped the side of Clarke's head, then got trapped in her hair, sources said.

"It got stuck in her weave," a police source told the Daily News. "It was unbelievable."
It's official: From here on out, Cocoa vows to NEVER diss another woman's hair! If homette's Frenchroll (which Cocoa is sure came with an extra-large side of H.A.M.) was able to stop a bullet, then just imagine what other great things certain sisters could do for society...

FIGHT CRIME: Girlies could flatten the car tires of thieves, or just trip up those fools trying to flee on foot.

FIGHT MO' CRIME: Force criminal confessions by threatening bodily harm (b.k.a. to this girly as 'sex'). She could also GIVE TO NEEDY by (breast)feeding all of nation's tiniest victims of hunger.

DIVERSITY TRAINING: Homegirls could teach America Something New about racial harmony and cultural diversity.The Bronx Cocoa's crime-fighting coif made this cocoa realize that the opportunities for sisters from all walks of life to better society are endless, I tell ya. Just endless!

CG./R.

30 comments:

Mrs A. said...

DAYUM, cocoa!!!! you's a FOOL!!!!!! that whole story is just a mess. i can already see her telling all of the news stations, "yeah, an den, da bullet had got all caughted up in my weave, an it like saveded 20 people lifes an-SHOUT OUT TO SHAQUEESKA ON 33RD & LANE ST., SHE GOT THE FLY WEAVES-SH*T THEY STOP BULLETS!"

*smh*

Nichelle said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

I emailed this to my friend yesterday! She still wants to know why we have "weaves" but white girls have "extensions"

And you are SO wrong for those fat pictures!!!!

Sexy Succulent ala Mo'nique they are not!

Nichelle said...

I think girlfriend in the first picture thinks that she's doing it like this: http://www.1monique.com/

Cocoa Girl said...

Miss A - It is truly unbeweavable!

Nichelle - I like 'sexy succulent' LOL! Weave, extenstions...they're all the same! Matter of fact, Jessica Simpson is launching her own line of weave, ahem, extenstions! She's such a smart girl, rather, her peeps are such smart peeps...everybody in Hollywood wears it anyways. So why not???

i like liquor and tv said...

lol@the strap on the blue dress hanging down. I guess she's trying to be extra sexy.

LOL@ the chick in the white outfit. Look at them strings hanging from her legs. She looks like a thanksgiving turkey that broke loose.

Supa said...

Hey CG!!!!! My first day back on your blog and I'm going noooooooo ohhhhh nooooooooo!!!!!!!!

ohhh the toenails
OOHH the big girl
Ooooohhhhh the sis w/bootleg Paul Wall...

oh I wasn't ready!!! :)

Hey, R.

T. Cas said...

@ cocoa - thanx for the morning laugh, those toenails look deadly.

@ liquor and tv - I left you a couple of comments but your comment moderation is on.

Cocoa Girl said...

LQ & TV - You were wrong for the T-Day commentary...LOL

Supa - Sorry, girl! I just could not believe the ghettoness of the news story... Surely girly's coif was something unbeweavable.

T-Cas. Glad to be of service! Happy Tuesday.

Single Ma said...

LMAO! Cocoa, you aint right!

i like liquor and tv said...

Thanks T cas! I had no idea I had that thing turned on. I had 14 comments that needed to be published.

Miss Ahmad said...

Girl if you don't get that bootleg Paul Wall a life!!

You are killig me over here. Sometimes I look at our people and bow my head in shame, cuz we are a mess!

Harlem Songstress said...

Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird..
it's a plane....

NO it's GHETTO GIRL!!!!!

Cocoa Girl said...

Miss Ahmad - I know. I don't know what (obligatory group speak) we are thinking sometimes...

H.Strongstress - LOL! It's so true...I wish the Daily News could cop a photo of her hairdo!

mrs.tj said...

I'm laughing too hard to comments.
What is REALLY up with them toes.
tj

dpm said...

See, weaves aren't that bad after all. Next we're all gonna hear about how a boob job cushioned some lady from a fall outta window.

Cocoa Girl said...

Mrs TJ - These photos were the LEAST offensive out of the bunch. I've seen the email containing these pics and more (Ghetto Prom) a few times and even had the nerve to fwd that joint to my non-Cocoa colleagues AT Morgan. I know. I deserved to be lashed for that one...

DPM - Right, right. Right along with Grillz...

Hot Grrrl said...

I have NO words for this!

African girl, American world said...

test

African girl, American world said...

damn blogger ate my 1st comment! ok lemme try this one mo gain

the toe nails!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!! how does one walk with those things?

and you and I need to get that diversity powerpoint together...they ain't ready!!!

Knockout Zed said...

Weaves are amazing. They're beautiful and helpful to the Asian economy.

KZ

DPM said...

Grillz prevent brain cancer (I think). Or is that an oxymoron?

Cocoa Girl said...

Mwabi - LOL @ the "diversity powerpoint!"

Zed - Cocoa's sure that you see some pretty interesting weaves in Michigan...p-r-e-t-t-y intersting...

DPM - How on earth do grills prevent cancer???

Knockout Zed said...

What are you trying to say about Detroit? Fuck the rest of Michigan!

KZ

KO said...

Is this going to be pitched as a tool for women in crime ridden neighborhoods to protect themselves. I can see canal street gettign ready for sales increase.

Now women can say "but baby please pay for my haire...it can save my life"

Unruly Brown said...

Dang, that's some wicked weave!!

LMAO @ Bootleg Paul Wall! HAHAHA

Cocoa Girl said...

K. - "I can see canal street getting ready for sales increase."

As a fellow NYer, you KNOW I love-ded that one.

OCS - I'm surprised by trashy papers haven't yet copped a photo of that hairdo! I am still waiting...

Harlem Songstress said...

Cocoa--Unfortunately we'll probably never see a pic of this bullet proof weave. I've watched enough CSI's for me you, and half of NY so I'm gonna take a wild guess and say they most likely had to immediately take it out & comb for evidence/clues and it's in a plastic baggy right now labeled as exhibit "a" waiting for it's debut in court. Boy--imagine the jokes circulating around that lab-lol

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting the picture of the sister with no business wearing that outfit....it was part of my motivation for a two hours cardio workout at the gym yesterday. I need to bring that image with me and stare at it when I start to feel the burn.

Anonymous said...

Songstress...she was probably mad they had to cut her weave out and will be filing a civil suit to have the city pay for her replacement. LOL

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