Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wednesday's Workplace Wordage: "Hiya"

When the 'regla old "hi," "hey" or "good morning" just won't do...

Fellas - especially black and straight fellas - steer clear of this one.

Ladies - Is your communication style at work thought to be too "direct?" Have the words "hostile" or "intimidating graced the pages of your annual review too many times? Well, then, today's workplace wordage just might be the best thing to happen to your career - ever!

Best used to offset to the tension, "attitude" and b!tchiness found in your responses to stupid, catty emails, "hiya" works to confuse enemy targets on the job who are convinced that you will respond to their nastiness with blatant nastiness. That's right, kiddies! A subtle "eff off!" body, proceeded by that hottness called "hiya" is all you need to check fools while maintaing a positive image at work.

Cocoa Girl is certain that by now you believe she is making up these terms. I mean, who on earth would dare utter something so ridiculous sounding "whelmed up" or "hiya?" Yet, you must believe Cocoa when she says that she understands your lack of belief AND that these words are 100% legit.

Try "hiya" today!

*Disclaimer: Blacks and gay males will read through "hiya" as you being the smart-a$$, plotting office trick that you are! Use on these groups at your own risk.

Cocoa Girl

23 comments:

thee modern isis said...

exactly right. I tried "hiya" with the overdramatic, high strung white girl and she was friendly. I tried it with the diva'd out, i hate everyone, snitchin azz black girl and she rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth.

T. Cas said...

Thanks for giving permission to skip this one. Aint no way I could see myself using "hiya." Might as well put on a dress right then. LOL

i like liquor and tv said...

rofl..man if I tried to use it, it probably wouldn't even come out right.

It would sound more like that sound before you karate chop someone. hi-YA!

Cocoa Girl said...

Okay. Black folks cannot say "hiya" as it's too unbelieveable (in most cases).

"Hiya" is actually meant for email. It disarms folks, particularly when the topic is sensitive. The key is the text that follows the greeting MUST be subtly stank...not obviously stank.

Diva (in Demand) said...

cocoa, you are killing me with these words! LOL

Blah Blah Blah said...

I ain't sayin' "Hiya" to no damn body....
You might get a "Hey" or a head nod...but no "Hiya"

Miss Ahmad said...

okay is that Hiya as in Hiya doin'? or just plain Hiya?

Cuz I'm gonna send out some emails before I hit the road and I wanna use it...

Hiya, haven't gotten that confirmation regarding our Tuesday meeting. Trying to get my calendar locked as I'm be unavail the remainder of the week.

Howz that sound?

Cocoa Girl said...

That sounds, hot, Miss Ahmad!

Blah - You don't say it you type it.

Hey Diva in Demand *waving*

Unruly Brown said...

Aw, they say that all the time here in Texas! LOL! That's the new "Howdy"! hehehe

P said...

Hiya, Cocoa!

How ya doin?

Single Ma said...

LMAO @ your Wednesday posts crack me up! If I said "hiya" - I'd probably get the gas face. I'm not known to be that friendly (lol).

Do you mind if I improvise a little? How about this (real issue today)..."Hiya expect me to finish this by COB if you haven't identified the funding to pay for this shyt?!?!?!" *exhale* Yea, that's more like it.

Do you think it'll have the same effect? LOL

mrs.tj said...

Hiyah! Howya doin?
tj

Diva (in Demand) said...

Okay the non colored girl up front just said "howdy" to me......I think that's the midwest verion of hiya.

African girl, American world said...

hiya Cocoa...thid mskes me wanna sing it outkast style, you know Hey Yall...buy hiya

nikki said...

hiya bastid.

works for me...

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...well, fortunately there are only 2 other people in my office - my boss and my assistant (who happen to BOTH be Korean). As the resident Blasian chic, "HIYA" would raise eyebrows when I usually walk in shouting, "YO! I have arrived!" Hehehehe...

But if I ever get a job workin with a bunch of white folks again (lawd I HOPE NOT), then I'll DEFINITELY toss this word into my work vocabulary!

MsJayy said...

If I used that with coworkers, they'd all start whispering & walking around me in wide circles...well, WIDER circles. LOL

Knockout Zed said...

You know I think "Hi" is too soft as it is.

Most white people roll with these "toothless smiles". I'd venture to call that shit a "grin", sans joy or goodwill. That's a non verbal "hiya".

KZ

T. Cas said...

ummm. where are you, Cocoa? LOL

Supa said...

Yeah Cocoa! Where you be??

Single Ma said...

*cough* wiping the dust off the monitor...

destiny said...

With my southern drawl, it will probably come out as HI-YAHHH (emphasis on the yah)! You know that noise you make when you do a karate chop???

Sangindiva said...

GURL! This is fnny as hell!
Since I don't work in corporate Amerikkka-
I probably would NEVER use this word.
But I love how you come up with all of these great things
that happen in the office! Cocoa U ROCK!!
o.k. what the hell let me try: Hiya girly! What cha been up to... How's that? hahahaha!