Monday, August 21, 2006


I know, I know…what kind of writer forgets their own blog birthday?

One year ago, Cocoa Girl, the burgeoning writer, embarked on a little task to build what those non-fic folks in the publishing world like to call a "platform." Cocoa remembers the conversationS (emphasis on the plural) going a little something like this...

Agent/editor: "Your voice is strong, identifiable, likeable. Your proposal is great - I definitely think it will work. Yet, I'm thinking that we need to see a platform from you. It's just that you are a new writer and that's what my [editor/marketing & research/Acquisitions] boss would like to see..."

With that much, Cocoa Girl on the Job (which actually started as "Observations from a Cocoa Girl at Work") was born and on August 17, 2005.

It's funny: Upon first blog (more like the first few months), the process seemed so darn labor-like. For whatever reason, blogging felt more so like a chore than a creative exercise in career building. Yet, although it seemed as if nobody was reading my site, I continued to write and write and write some more.

One day in late November, some Cali chick with a hella cool logo left a comment on my site. I had never before 'seen' her, but she came back the next day, and the next and the next. Of course, I had to check her out and when I did, I must say that homey was HEE-LARIOUS (to use one of her words). To this day, I still LMAO at her assigning Mr. Sadaam Hussein his very own gangsta moniker ("That N!gga Dam!") because him and his peeps were getting gully in court. From that very day, I was hooked and over the course of the next few weeks, I became hooked on her blogroll. After reading (stalking?) other folks' sites continuously, I fell in love with a few of their sites and the notion of writing for the sake of writing. It was no longer a chore. I liked it.

So, here I am today kiddies... Blogging away – well, at least some days of the week, tho I will get better with the 6-week recovery period. The book? I was going to post on that one, but thought I'd wait until September:)

Thanks to all for checking me out and for all the love and encouragement. To my fellow bloggers, thanks for the get to tweaking those manuscripts!

Cocoa Girl

Friday, August 11, 2006

Stalkers @ Work!

Workplace #1 presented many interesting "firsts" for Cocoa Girl, including my very first run-in with the concept of being "Single White Female'd."

You see, due to what one could refer to as a little 'position' envy, one coworker had something just shy of that Fatal Attraction sheyot with all things moi. First, it was my bags ("Omigod - is this reaal Prada?"). Next, the jewelry ("Omigod - are those diamonds real?"). Then things got a tad scary when the SWF zoomed in on my accessories, which my coworkers thought to be hilarious.... (Cocoa's boss) "Seems like Cocoa has a little admirer - isn't Miss SWF wearing the EXACT same rhinestone-buckle, fatigue-print belt that you bought last week?"

Last but not least, girly drove Cocoa to phone home to mom-dukes when she proceeded to have a LOUD conversation (just a few feet away) regarding her 'new' Louis Vuitton bag that she had just 'inherited' (I kid you not) from her DEAD grandmother. Harmless enough, perhaps. However, judging by her reaction to my LV a few days before ("Omi-f*cking-god! YOU have a Louis Vuitton bag???"), I think the alarm was justified.

As I later found out, this Single White Female's fascination with me stemmed from her desire to have my job. Apparently, she had been seeking my position before the words 'necessary,' 'diversity' and 'new-hire' had slipped from my manager's lips, but she never was in the running. And management didn't care enough to tell her either.

Not like I ever cared about her plight (the cow was an evil, rancid witch). Yet, I stumbled upon my stalker on the job memories after speaking with another friend regarding hers... Except her stalkers have all been Single BLACK Females... One, tried to befriend her the first week of work, only to end up bitter because my friend (obviously a psychic!) dubbed her ass crazy! This SBF was obviously not one to disappoint, however, as she later proceeded to cut slashes into the sleeves of my girlfriend's coat and clothes.

My friend's next SBF @ Work also wanted to befriend (become?) her. Yet, not much unlike Cocoa's SWF above, this SBF wanted my homegirl's gig. So, she did what any psychotic beyotch would do and proceeded to cop everything my friend has: her hair styleS (emphasis on the plural) - first the braids and then the Bob-cut; her style of dress (did I mention that chick is 16 years senior my friend); her internal career track, and, now, her graduate degree of choice.

*blank stare*

While I would like to believe that I’m really just that fly, Cocoa would rather conclude that mofos @ work are just that got-damned deranged.

Got stalkers on the job?

Cocoa Girl