You see, due to what one could refer to as a little 'position' envy, one coworker had something just shy of that Fatal Attraction sheyot with all things moi. First, it was my bags ("Omigod - is this reaal Prada?"). Next, the jewelry ("Omigod - are those diamonds real?"). Then things got a tad scary when the SWF zoomed in on my accessories, which my coworkers thought to be hilarious.... (Cocoa's boss) "Seems like Cocoa has a little admirer - isn't Miss SWF wearing the EXACT same rhinestone-buckle, fatigue-print belt that you bought last week?"
Last but not least, girly drove Cocoa to phone home to mom-dukes when she proceeded to have a LOUD conversation (just a few feet away) regarding her 'new' Louis Vuitton bag that she had just 'inherited' (I kid you not) from her DEAD grandmother. Harmless enough, perhaps. However, judging by her reaction to my LV a few days before ("Omi-f*cking-god! YOU have a Louis Vuitton bag???"), I think the alarm was justified.
As I later found out, this Single White Female's fascination with me stemmed from her desire to have my job. Apparently, she had been seeking my position before the words 'necessary,' 'diversity' and 'new-hire' had slipped from my manager's lips, but she never was in the running. And management didn't care enough to tell her either.
Not like I ever cared about her plight (the cow was an evil, rancid witch). Yet, I stumbled upon my stalker on the job memories after speaking with another friend regarding hers... Except her stalkers have all been Single BLACK Females... One, tried to befriend her the first week of work, only to end up bitter because my friend (obviously a psychic!) dubbed her ass crazy! This SBF was obviously not one to disappoint, however, as she later proceeded to cut slashes into the sleeves of my girlfriend's coat and clothes.
My friend's next SBF @ Work also wanted to befriend (become?) her. Yet, not much unlike Cocoa's SWF above, this SBF wanted my homegirl's gig. So, she did what any psychotic beyotch would do and proceeded to cop everything my friend has: her hair styleS (emphasis on the plural) - first the braids and then the Bob-cut; her style of dress (did I mention that chick is 16 years senior my friend); her internal career track, and, now, her graduate degree of choice.
While I would like to believe that I’m really just that fly, Cocoa would rather conclude that mofos @ work are just that got-damned deranged.
Got stalkers on the job?Cocoa Girl